One by one we pick them up,
Vessels containing the impact of our experiences.
Bags holding scraps accumulated from the wreckage of things done to us,
Books of painful words spoken,
Journals of haunting words we wished unsaid,
Folders of memories we long to forget.
Some we hardly notice picking up,
Others, we’re all too aware as the burden settles upon our shoulders.
All of the sudden one small thing makes it unbearable,
We fold and crack, and bend and break.
Everything comes tumbling down, scattering around us,
We grasp to gather everything, afraid to lose the familiar.
Until Someone comes along and gently guides us in unpacking.
We start with sorting and taking inventory of the contents,
We begin to evaluate and discard what serves us no purpose.
At first, it’s challenging,
We’ve grown used to the weight we carry.
Some things quickly get repacked, until we’re ready to air them out,
Little by little we embrace the relief from each release,
One day we empty the final bag, letting it hit the floor,
We feel the freedom as we take our next steps unburdened,
No longer hindered by all we carried.
Not forgetting the past,
But choosing to release its weight.
Our hearts and minds healed ,
Stretched and strengthened by decoding the preceding chapters of our lives,
Freeing ourselves from the weight of reliving them once more.
We step forward boldly,
Knowing we’ll one day encounter a bag,
Full of weight, whether new or old,
We may pick it up for a moment,
But this time, we’re aware of the weight,
We’re prepared to sift, sort, and discard,
Equipped by that training in running our race.
And we’ll continue to walk freer and lighter,
Embracing every joy until we cross the finish line.

11.22.22

The other day, I dreamt I was running a marathon. As I neared the finish line, I put down a heavy bag I had been carrying, allowing me to finish the race with ease. As I ran lighter, I thought it odd that I had been carrying the bag in the first place. When I woke up, I didn’t think much of the dream, I enjoy running and it is normal for me to dream about the activities I enjoy. But then I had an epiphany as I did a run later that morning. The bag had a significance. I started thinking about what things I am carrying from the past that I need to put down in order to “finish the race?” What am I carrying that is weighing me down, holding me back? What are the various races I am running? Different projects and dreams I’m pursuing—finishing my book, waiting on things God has promised me, stepping into new calls/endeavors. I wrote and painted these as I contemplated the dream and the steps/actions I will take in response to its meaning.