Memories

I’m four and you’re scratching my back as you say goodnight,
I’m five and watching you get your hair done, feeling so special that I’m with you,
I’m seven and you’re showing me where the treats I can give to Korie,
I’m eight and we’re enjoying a Dixie Cup ice cream on a hot summer day,
I’m nine and you introduce me to the wonder of Sight and Sound theater,
I’m ten and we’re playing card games -- progressive rummy, sequence, Rummikub,
I’m eleven and you ask me to help put out the plate of Christmas cookies,
I’m twelve and you’re showing me a new part of the world and adventure on the cruise,
I’m thirteen and you’re taking care of me when I have an excruciating migraine,
I’m fourteen and we’re picking strawberries on spring break in Florida,
I’m seventeen and you make me feel so loved when I’ve forgotten how to love myself,
I’m twenty-one and recounting my travel adventures around the country,
I’m twenty-two and I’m telling you all about my new job and living in Atlanta,
I’m twenty-four and I’m making your annual Christmas cookies, for you and your friends,
I’m twenty-six and I’m visiting you in the hospital, praying for God to stregnthen you,
I’m twenty-seven and cherishing every one of your accidental calls,
I’m twenty-eight and I’m saying goodbye to you for the last time,
I’m heartbroken and would give anything to hear you call me “Boo,” just one more time.

7.27.21, 8.20.21

Memories Part 2

I remember meeting you when you were a baby, at Nana Estell’s birthday party
I think that sparked my desire for a younger sibling.
Little did I know that twenty some years later, I would have the opportunity to feel like your big sister.
I will never know if you felt the same, but I cherished those moments…

Watching a movie on the couch,
Playing silly card games in the MPR,
Christmas cookie decorating,
Sushi on New Years Eve
The deer leaping in front of my car
Making a huge lunch for the guys,
And realizing we forgot an ingredient.

But what I treasure most, is that deep conversation we had,
And when you called to check on me, when my world was crashing down.
I know you left so much unsaid, hurt and pain you held deep within your heart.
I wish we had more time to talk, to dive down and walk through it together.
But you left this world before we had the chance,

12.07.21