“Rain came, wind blew,
My house was built on you,
I’m safe with you,
I’m gonna make it through,
My eyes are fixed on you”

I painted this last night at Ignite, Hickory Ridge’s worship night. It isn’t exactly how I envisioned, but it captures what I saw as I braced for a wave of grief. As I closed my eyes, trying to hold back tears, I saw myself as a boat being knocked around by wind and waves, but remaining upright, strengthened and held steady by Jesus. I felt the ferocity of the storm, but also saw majesty in the sea and sky. The past two years have taught me that there is beauty even in ominous storms and crashing waves. There is beauty amidst heartbreak and grief.

Ignite has been one of my favorite things at Hickory Ridge, a time dedicated to worship through song and other creative outlets. I never know what I will paint until a picture or setting comes to mind as I worship, as I open my heart and mind to hear God speak. This scene was capturing all the emotion of last night. The first Ignite since Jared died, exactly 3 years since the first one he attended, and it was at the last Ignite that I was told of his passing. I felt the anguish of that night and the waves of grief since then, but I felt the safety of Jesus’ presence. I also felt the power of knowing I was being re-baptized today, 23 years since I was first baptized.

I put my faith in Jesus when I as 6, but it took 17 years for that faith to truly became personal, to shift from faith I read about into a personal relationship and a faith I walked out. It was another 3 years for that relationship to deepen to the central part of my life. In the past 3.5 years it has been my anchor, especially in the past two years. This painting expresses my faith in God’s hand on me as I navigate (the storms of) life. While I wouldn’t choose these storms again, it is through the storms that I have realized the depth of my faith and how much more it can grow.

I have since written a poem to accompany the painting: Storm Control

Watch Baptism Sunday at Hickory Ridge